


Inertia

by Enchantable



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantable/pseuds/Enchantable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck really should have waited before disengaging from the rig</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inertia

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Chuck breaks his arm instead of his father

"They’re clean breaks."

"Well thank fucking god for that," Chuck snarls at the doctor. 

Herc glares at him and Chuck is all too happy to return the gesture. His fellow pilots, the closest thing Chuck has to friends, are dead. And the most he’s done is shoot a flare into a Kaiju’s eye and break his arm in three places. The sling isn’t really helping, mostly because he refuses the recommended dose of pain meds. He’s going to the bottom of the ocean to nuke another dimension, he doesn’t need to be foggy. 

"How long for it to heal?" Herc asks.

"At least eight weeks."

"That better be a fucking joke!" Chuck bellows shoving himself to his feet, “I have to be in Eureka in four hours!" 

"Chuck," his father says and Chuck whirls on him. 

"I’m going!" he shouts. His father meets his gaze steadily, “you can’t pilot Eureka alone! You’re not that good! You—you need me!" 

He’s shouting now but he doesn’t care. His arm’s broken in three places, the world is ending and now he’s a useless nine year old huddled under rubble screaming for his mom as his dad pulls him away. Herc is steadier than that day. He meets Chuck’s wild gaze with his own steely blue one. Chuck can count on one hand the number of times his father has acted like one. But when Herc looks at him he’s as unmovable as an anchored Jaeger. 

He’s going to save him. 

He’s going to die. 

It’s fury that makes it difficult to breathe, like there’s a vice around his throat. It’s anger that makes it hard to see, because it’s so blinding. He’s being denied and betrayed and that’s why it feels like there’s a lead weight on his chest. He’s mad, he’s being betrayed. He shoves Herc out of the way and staggers out of the med bay so fast he leaves his jacket behind. 

He gets to the repair hanger, grabs the first thing and throws it as hard as he can at Striker Eureka. 

The wrench bangs off the Jaeger’s shin as Chuck shouts in blind fury. His arm’s broken and Herc is going to get all the glory and his Jaeger is going to go off and save the world without him. The one time he tries to help someone without a Jaeger and he winds up like this. He drops onto the board besides Striker’s foot and buries a hand in his hair, gasping for air through the fury that crushes his lungs. 

He doesn’t know how he hears Mako. Maybe because even lost in the fury and blinding emotion he’s still a fucking Ranger and aware of his surroundings. He doesn’t look up as he sits there with his arm throbbing and his chest crushing. She comes close enough for him to see the shiny black of her boots and the fury rages higher. He’s a Jaeger pilot, he’s a ranger, he’s supposed to be terrifying and he doesn’t need to lift his head to see she isn’t scared of him. 

"Marshal Pentecost is going with him," she says finally and an unrecognizable sound rips out of his lips. 

"Oldest fucking pilots in the newest fucking Jaeger," he snarls and raises his eyes. 

Mako looks down at him, her mask firmly in place and he wants to strangle her. Raleigh’s not here to protect her anyway. He shoves himself to his feet, telling himself he can take some punk as newbie with one hand—hell he could do it with one hand behind his back. He lunges at her because he has to do something and beating her sounds like a good something. 

She doesn’t even drop him that hard. 

It’s insulting and infuriating that she flips him and has the strength to lower him down. She drops onto him and holds him there, refusing to let him up as she presses his face into the stone of the floor. She’s even careful with his busted arm. He twists his head so he can see her eyes and for a second he thinks he sees fury in them but then the mask is back and he can’t be sure. 

"They will take the payload to the breach," she says pressing harder for a moment before getting up.

He shoves himself but she doesn’t step back. He’s furious at everything and it’s even more crushing as he turns to Eureka. Even the fucking Jaeger seems to be judging him and he wants to kill her too. 

"He is your father," Mako says finally, her voice cold. 

"You think I don’t know that?!" Chuck shouts rounding on her, “you think I don’t fucking know he’s my dad and he’s about to go get himself killed?!" he bellows louder, “he’s going to fucking die because I’m too weak to save him!" 

The weight crushes him as Mako’s eyes widen and when he opens his mouth to say something more, the only thing that comes out is a tortured sob. He isn’t strong enough. He has the memories of this moment but he finally gets it. You can’t save everyone. So you pick in that split second, you rejoice that you could save someone and then you feel like the biggest sack of shit because you couldn’t save someone else.

Chuck can’t save anybody. 

It’s too late though. The tears have broken free. Deep, shuddering gasps and sobs that rip at him as his knees buckle. Mako’s tablet shatters as she throws it aside and grabs him, gently lowering him to the ground. His hand fists in her shirt, but whether he means to pull her away or hold her closer, he doesn’t know. All he can see is that his father’s getting into a circuit suit and he’s going off to die.

He grips her as he sobs, folding into himself because he’s spent his entire life dedicated to the glory of rangerhood. To being the best. But he isn’t. The best is getting fitted into his circut suit and locked into his armor to go off with his best friend and save the world. And Chuck knows, like he always has, that nothing he can ever do will make his dad’s sacrifice of his mom worth it.

It’s a blur of words and voices as Stacker gives some kind of rousing speech. Chuck can’t look away from Herc though. Even Max is silent as they ride the lift up to Striker’s loading dock. Stacker goes ahead into the elevator as his dad bends down to Max. The dog whimpers and he looks at him sternly.

"None of that," he says, “you gotta be strong," he says rubbing the dog behind his ears, “you take care of him for me, yeah?" Max barks like he understands. 

Herc straightens and looks at him.

"I’m sorry," Chuck says and his voice comes out a hoarse mess. 

Herc—his dad—pulls him against him, knowing he’s not apologizing just for losing it. Chuck buries his face in his father’s shoulder. The metal and neoprene is familiar, it’s the most comforting thing he’s ever felt as Herc holds him tightly. When he pulls back there are tears in his eyes. 

"You’re fucking stupid sometimes, you know that boy?" he says looking at Chuck, “you’re in my head and you still don’t get that choosing you was—" he laughs, “it wasn’t a decision at all now was it?"

Chuck looks at him because he knows that, but for the first time he actually believes it. He pulls his dad towards him and for the first time he tells him that he loves him. His dad hugs him tighter and croaks out a reply. They step back and look at each other. 

"Don’t ding her up too bad," he says and Herc laughs. 

"Cheeky shit," he says but there’s only affection in his voice. 

Chuck stands there as they step onto the bridge and into Eureka’s Conn-Pod. He stands there as the doors close and the lift drops. Max sits down and lets out a mournful sound. Chuck bends down and looks at the dog. 

"Don’t be sad," he orders and it’s as much for him as the dog, “dad’s gone off to save the world, yeah? Let’s go cheer him on."

Max licks him and barks and together they head to the control room.


End file.
